History of Consent and safety in kink
While many people engage in kink with the best of intentions, it's EXTREMELY important to recognize the high need for safety and consent. Intent does not negate impact!
There's lots of acronyms and frameworks out there, but first, we should talk about why it's important, and why safety and consent should never be considered optional!
1. To differentiate kink from abuse
⇒ SSC enters the chat.
In the 1980s kink groups and activists sought to draft clear boundaries for kink that made it clear that they were not simply trying to hide abuse as kink, nor were they doing so as a result of being mentally unstable as it was often regarded at the time, (especially for those in the LGBTQ+ community). SSC stands for Safe. Sane. Consensual Safe meant boundaries exist. Sane was a literal term simply stating the the person engaging was of sound mind. Consensual meant all parties consented to the activity.
SSC is no longer used by many communities!
While SSC has been widely adopted in online spaces more recently, it has fallen out of use in many serious kink spaces. Kinksters, especially those of the LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent communities began to come under fire as the use of the word “Sane” was turned against them. Because of this, you may find some groups may take offence at it’s use, or even actively ban it.
2. To protect both parties from liability
⇒ RACK jumps in.
In the late 90s BDSM organizations began to be formed, and they quickly realized that SSC was simply too vague. RACK is Risk Aware Consensual kink. The idea was clarify “Sane” a little bit as “both parties are aware of the risks involved and are consenting to them”. Along with this came PRICK, which is Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink, however it is not widely used as people argue that the language of “personal responsibility” might be weaponized to promote victim blaming.
Not Always what it seems!
The practice of using the language of “Risk Aware” and “Personal Responsibility” to defend unethical practices by claiming consent was given happens frequently in online communities. Use caution if the acronyms are used to push all responsibility off of one party and on to the other by refusing to participate in aftercare and other safety steps.
3. To ensure consent is clear and communicated
Where SSC, RACK, and PRICK focused heavily and protecting the dominant party from being labeled as abusers, understanding of what consent REALLY meant hadn’t quite fully evolved.
⇒ Enter CCCC (or the 4 Cs).
Caring, Communication, Consent, Caution. More or less seen as the best current framework, it emphasis practicing aftercare and good communication and pares very will with modern acronyms for properly defining consent.
F.R.I.E.S Consent Model
Seen as one of the best modern consent models, FRIES stands for Freely given, Revocable (or Reversible), Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific. First defined by Planned Parenthood in 2016, FRIES gained rapid popularity, and has been specifically used to teach difficult concepts of consent to children in order to help prevent sexual abuse and assault.
5 Pillars of Consent in FRIES
Freely Given
Proper, freely given, consent does not rely on coercion, emotional blackmail/guilt, or the weaponization of social justice. Arousal does not equal consent. Consent cannot be given when it’s only while under the influence of alcohol or drugs
Revocable/Reversable
A personal should always be allowed to revoke consent, even after the fact. This isn’t just feeling guilty or regretful. This is “relapse culture” in a nutshell. Pushing a someone to “relapse” is a violation of consent. Continuing to push when someone says they want to stop is a violation of consent.
Informed
A person should always be fully informed of what they are consenting to. This means, not introducing new concepts in the middle of play unless a discussion was had beforehand about pushing boundaries or exploring.
Enthusiastic
Sometimes phrased as “if it’s not an enthusiastic yes, it’s a no”. A little nuanced, because this will shift with the dynamic. You can be cautious about a concept but enthusiastically trusting your partner to explore it. If it doesn’t feel safe, don’t do it!
Specific
A person should always seek to be as specific as they can about consent. Clear lines and boundaries ensure everyone has a good time. Things like “I like being tied up, but not choked”, “I like pain play, but bruising is triggering”, “I love degradation, but body shaming is off limits” and so on. Often these limits are discovered during play, and discussing them is an important part of aftercare.